Sunday, May 11, 2008
The Cost of Children
A good friend of mine sent this to me for Mother's Day. It brought a smile to my face.

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THE COST OF CHILDREN

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

$8,896.66 a year, $741.38 a month,
or $171.08 a week.
That's a mere $24.24 a day!
Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice says don't have children if you want to be "rich.." It is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140?

Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
Glimpses of God every day.
Giggles under the covers every night.
More love than your heart can hold.
Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
A hand to hold, usually covered with jam.
A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites, building sand castles, and skipping down the sidewalk in the pouring rain.
Someone to laugh yourself silly with no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, catch lightning bugs, and never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off the bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the first step, first word, first bra, first date, and first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren.

You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there with God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

A very happy Mother's Day to every one of you. You've earned every penny!!

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posted by Hueina Su at 10:37 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Ode to Motherhood
To all the moms:

Happy Mother's Day!

You have worked so hard, all year around. I hope you get to take a day off, and enjoy your special day. I hope you love the festivities and/or any loving gestures your family bestow on you. Even if none of your family is around to celebrate this day with you, I hope you make a point to do or have something you love today. Hey, this is your special day, and you totally deserve it.

I just called my Mom in Taiwan. None of us could spend Mother's Day with her, and my dad had to attend a meeting today. I was so glad to find that Mom was in a good mood, nonetheless. I said, "Well, Mom, since Dad is not home, you've got a day off! How are you going to celebrate your special day?" She told me cheerfully that she's got some ideas -- she might visit this or that city, do some shopping, visit her favorite coffee shop, etc. She was getting herself ready to go out and enjoy her free time. I'm pretty sure she is going to dress up and have fun out on the town. Way to go, Mom! That's the spirit!

Motherhood is life-changing. I'm positive that you'd agree with me. Being a mom has changed me on so many levels. It's the most challenging job I've ever taken on, and the most amazing journey I've experienced. I'd never trade it for anything in the world.

Before you go out for your Mother's Day celebration, here are some thoughts for you to ponder.

You are loving and caring... You give your children unconditional love, the highest level of love in the world. You are the go-to person when anyone needs TLC - a hug, a kiss, some encouraging words, or chocolate chip cookies. You are love, personified.

You are patient... Reading "The Little Engine That Could" for the 1,000th time, with the same level of joy and enthusiasm (even when you were so tired you could barely keep your eyes open); getting your toddler potty trained; helping your child with challenging homework; sewing your child's school play or Halloween costume... that takes patience.

You are committed... Hey, you took on a life-long commitment to be a mom, didn't you?!

You are strong and you persevere... Think about what you had to go through to bring your child to the world -- the pregnancy, the labor pain, the adoption process -- need I say more? Think about all the challenges you've gone through to take care of your children and make sure they are healthy, safe and happy. You are much tougher than you give yourself credit for.

You are disciplined... You get up every morning to take care of your family, cooking, feeding, bathing, cleaning... day after day, after day. If that's not discipline, I don't know what is.

You take charge and get things done... You are the one who organizes and coordinates everyone's schedules, and make sure nobody misses doctor's appointments, soccer practice, band concert, birthday party, anniversary dinner (even if you have to plan it yourself).

You know when to say no and stand your ground... You have no problem telling your toddler or teenager what they are not supposed to do, even if you know they are not gonna like you.

You are creative... You've created a loving home for your children. You use your creativity in the ways you show your love, the foods you cook, the stories you tell, the imaginative plays, the silly songs you make up, the garden you planted and all the family vacations and memories you help create.

You are powerful... You were given the power and privilege to co-create a life (your child), to help your child reach his/her full potential and create a better world. That's enormous power and responsibility.

You are beautiful... Have you ever looked deeply into your child's eyes and see your own reflection? You are absolutely beautiful... no laugh lines or stretch marks could ever diminish your beauty.

I hope you take a few moment here and let it all sink in.

Next time, when someone else, or that nasty little voice in your head, tells you that you are not loving enough, strong enough, pretty enough, disciplined enough, or that you are too "selfish" for taking care of yourself, or whatever, tell them to get lost. They simply don't know any better.

You are perfect and whole, just the way you are. You deserve to be loved and adored, just like you love and adore your children. Now, go ahead, and celebrate this day the way you truly deserve.

Forward this message to any moms you know who could use a little validation or encouragement. As moms, we ought to support and empower one another.

Take good care of yourself... you are irreplaceable!

Love & Blessings,
Hueina

P.S. If you wish you had a Fairy Godmother, come to my Teleclass next Friday, May 16th, at 12:00 pm EST. We'll talk about how to "Write Yourself a Fairy Tale Ending". Stay tuned for more details on how to register for this Teleclass.

P.P.S. Found this funny poem about motherhood. Enjoy!

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posted by Hueina Su at 12:01 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Learn Coaching, Save Tibet
Julia Stewart, founder of School of Coaching Mastery, is offering a special opportunity to take her Coaching Groundwork program, with a small donation ($20 minimum) to International Campaign for Tibet. The 8-hour Coaching Groundwork program normally costs $200 and covers 8 fundamental coaching skills. This special presentation of Coaching Groundwork meets 3-5 PM Eastern/NY Time, April 28, 29, 30 & May 1 (Monday - Thursday). You will receive workbook and recordings too.

It's a great win-win for anyone who would like to learn fundamental coaching skill sets while making a difference. For details and registration, visit Julia's website.

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posted by Hueina Su at 10:39 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Someone Who Holds Your Vision
When we set out to achieve a goal, go after a dream, or start a new project (for example, a new business), we usually have a vision of the ideal outcome and/or the purpose. It's important to get very clear about your vision, and share it with someone who believes in you and supports your vision. I've always stressed the importance of protecting your dream from the "doubters" and nay-sayers, and surrounding yourself with people who are positive and supportive of your dreams and goals. Sharing your vision with someone who really "gets it" is like buying an insurance. When you encounter roadblocks on your way to success and feel discouraged, having someone who holds your vision and supports you, could make all the difference between giving up and arriving victoriously at the finish line.

A professional life or business coach can help you crystalize your vision and goals, push you out of your comfort zone, create action plans, hold you accountable, keep you motivated, and cheer you on, until you reach your goals. A good coach would also help you recognize and leverage your strengths, and remind you when you forget. Recently I coached a fellow professional coach who told me he was thinking of finding another job, because he felt so overwhelmed by several business, personal and financial issues. I was quite surprised to hear that since this is a seasoned, successful coach who brings in a 6-figure income from his coaching business. He's got the intelligence, professional knowledge & skills, years of experience, and a heart of gold. This is a guy who has a proven track record that he can make things happen against all odds. If he were to quit, I don't know who else could make it. After acknowledging and validating his situation & feelings, I told him what I saw as his strengths and reminded him of his past success. Then, I reminded him of his vision for his coaching business (and for this particularly challenging project), which he had shared with me before. Once I helped him re-affirm his vision and commitment, he was back to his old self again. Then, we were able to move into action steps he could take for the coming week.

Imagine if he had no one there for him, at his weakest moment, what would've happened? If this happened to you, who could you turn to?

If you have a professional life or business coach in your corner, congratulations! You've got a great advantage. If hiring a coach is not an option for you, you could also get the support you need from a mastermind group, a mentor, or a friend or family who could hold your vision for you and hold you accountable. If you belong to a mastermind group, I hope you share your vision with your group, and let everyone know the kind of support you need. Remember, the key to getting what you want, is to ask for what you want. 

It's an amazing feeling to have someone who believes in you and your vision. Knowing that someone believes in your and thinks highly of you, makes you want to try harder and be the best you can be. When the going gets tough, that might be just the thing that gets you through the dark night before dawn.

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posted by Hueina Su at 9:18 PM | Permalink | 0 comments
Monday, April 14, 2008
Powerful You Denville Meeting This Wednesday April 16

You are invited to be a part of this transformational event! Come make powerful connections with amazing women!

Powerful You! Women's Network Meeting
Wednesday, April 16
12:00 - 2:00PM
Meetings are held every 3rd Wednesday of the month
at 17 On Main Restaurant in Denville, NJ

www.17mainrestaurant.com


Topic: A Holistic Approach to Stress Management

Physical, emotional and dietary stresses in our everyday lives profoundly affect how we feel and the way we live. The good news is that you can use your mind and body to minimize each type of stress (including quick stress reduction exercises and dietary improvements) to optimize the qualify of your life.

Speakers:

Arlene Rich, Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist, www.SpiritualAwakening.com
Loann Simon, ACE Certified Personal Trainer and Nutrition Specialist, www.SpiritualAwakening.com

To learn more about Arlene, visit:
http://powerfulyou.com/Speakers/Arlene_Rich.htm
To learn more about Loann, visit:
http://powerfulyou.com/Members/Loann_Simon.htm

P.S. Our original guest speaker Dr. Jodi Dinnerman had to cancel her presentation due to an emergency. Arlene and Loann graciously agreed to fill in at last minute. Thank you SO much, Arlene and Loann!!

Powerful You! is designed for women to create lasting business and personal relationships and to assist other women in business and in life. Join us for a powerful way to celebrate your success! Cost is $25 members; $35 non-members, lunch buffet included. Must RSVP.

To RSVP and for more information, please visit: http://powerfulyou.com/Network_Meetings/Denville.htm or call Denville Chapter co-facilitator Hueina Su at 973-664-0446.

P.S. My co-facilitator Christina will be enjoying a fabulous Caribbean cruise vacation during this meeting. Bon Voyage Christina!

Below is a coupon for your FIRST-EVER Powerful You meeting. Come be a part of the fastest growing National Network of Women... We invite you to bring your friends & associates!

To join Powerful You, visit: http://powerfulyou.com/Membership_Options.htm

Hope you can join us!

Joy & Blessings,
Hueina

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posted by Hueina Su at 5:50 PM | Permalink | 1 comments
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Don't Miss Randy Pausch The Last Lecture on ABC Tonight
Happy Wednesday!

There is a very special program on TV tonight. I encourage you to tune in.

THE LAST LECTURE: A Love Story For Your Life
Randy Pausch with Diane Sawyer
Wednesday Night April 9th
at 10/9c on ABC

Randy Pausch, a 47-year-old computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University, has terminal pancreatic cancer.

Last September, Pausch said good-bye to his students and the Pittsburgh college with one last lecture called "How to Live Your Childhood Dreams", on his life's journey and the lessons he's learned. The Wall Street Journal called it "the lecture of a lifetime".

You can watch this unforgettable lecture at the link below. Just make sure you get the Kleenex ready before you begin....

http://abcnews.go.com/gma/lastlecture

"I've never understood pity and self-pity as an emotion. We have a finite amount of time. Whether short or long, it doesn't matter. Life is to be lived." -- Randy Pausch

Live your life to the fullest. Every day counts. Don't wait until you get a devastating diagnosis or something tragic -- start TODAY.

If you would like me to help you get clear about what you really want out of YOUR life, and design a step-by-step blueprint for you, please email or call me right away. We'll have an initial conversation and get you started!

Joy & Peace,
Hueina


P.S. If you would like to learn how to achieve your full potentials, I highly recommend that you consider the Life Potentials Training, hosted by iPEC Coaching, which is one of the foremost coaching schools in the world and the coaching school I attended. This 3-day life-mastery training is for anyone who would like to tap into his/her unlimited life potentials, and live a joyful, fulfilling life. When I attended this program as part of my coaching certification 4 years ago, it was truly a life-altering experience. And, guess what, I'm going to attend the Life Potentials Training again this weekend, and I can't wait!

For more information about Life Potentials Training and The Law of Being, click here.

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posted by Hueina Su at 11:19 AM | Permalink | 0 comments
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
The Key to Getting What You Want
One of the most important keys to success is knowing what you want (your goals). In coaching, I often see people who either are not clear about what they want, or, not sure about how to get it. Having a clear intention and goal is the very first step. It's important to know not just what you want, but WHY you want it. You might need to do some soul searching to have that clarity. A professional life coach can help you with that. Knowing WHY you want a particular goal will help you stay focused and persevere when you hit a roadblock.

Once you are clear about what you want, it's time to come up with an action plan to move you toward your goals. It's helpful to have a mentor, colleague or a life coach to brainstorm with you, give you guidance, and offer resources. Another effective strategy is using a mastermind group to help you achieve your goals.

A mastermind group, by definition, is a group of like-minded people sharing common goals. As with one-on-one coaching, a mastermind group also offers accountability and support for the members. I have written several posts on using mastermind group for personal and business success. Evan Carmichael's Mastermind Group Resources blog is a great resource to check out.

There are many ways you can use a mastermind group to help you achieve your goals. Today I'd like to focus on one specific key to getting what you want, and that is, asking for what you want. It sounds so simple and common sense, but, you'd be surprised that many people don't ask for what they want, or don't know how to ask for what they want.

People don't ask for what they want for many reasons. Maybe they don't know exactly what they want (lack of clarity). Maybe they are afraid of being judged, ridiculed or rejected. Maybe they don't want to "impose" on or burden others. Maybe they are afraid of appearing to be pushy or needy. We sometimes assume that if we ask for help, others will think of us as inadequate or incompetent. The truth is, most people want to be helpful to others, and they will happily help you if only you would ask for it. In my previous post The Gift of Receiving, I pointed out that, by asking for help, you are actually giving the person a gift, because he/she gets to experience the great feeling of giving/helping someone else. All you have to do is ask.

I remember almost 20 years ago, when I attended the Landmark Forum and the Self Expression and Leadership Program, one of the assignments was for us to make an "unreasonable request". We did it over dinner break, and over the weekend. That was an eye-opener. Most people came back to report that they thought they were making very unreasonable requests, and were fully prepared to be turned down. Instead, they were amazed that they got what they wanted. Obviously, some of these so-called "unreasonable" requests were not so unreasonable, after all.

If you don't like the idea of asking for help, substitute the word "help" with "support". We all need a support system. As human beings, nobody can survive without the support from others. It's completely healthy and essential to ask for the support you need, in both your personal and professional lives.

Coming back to mastermind group. It's important to let your group know exactly what your goals are, and what kind of support you need from them. Perhaps it's weekly accountability check-in and encouragement; perhaps it's certain type of leads; or perhaps it's specific tools or resources for your project. Let your group members know what you need, and set up the structure (e.g. weekly check-in calls, accountability buddy) that supports your goals.

I found this wonderful mastermind resource at Mary Robinson Reynolds Make A Difference site. At her site you can find inspirational movies (I highly recommend them) and other resources, including MasterMinding. She listed "7 Steps to the MasterMind Connection". They are:

1. I SURRENDER ordinary thinking.
2. I FOCUS my intention to be open to all possibilities.
3. I DECIDE differently. Within and without, I call all things past, all things present, all things future, a success.
4. I KNOW that, when two or more minds come together in the spirit of harmony, peace and good will, the accomplishment of my goals, dreams and desires will be intentionally created through this alliance, to bring about easy effectiveness, energy and good to all.
5. I ASK my partner's support in seeing and believing for me what I really want.
6. I ACCEPT and receive all that I am aligned with.
7. I DEDICATE myself to be of maximum service to those around me, to be a living example of what humanity can be and to practice "harmlessness" in generating peace, love, harmony and good will in my world. I am grateful and relaxed … and so it is.

Mary has written a complete script that you can use, and instructions of how to use this MasterMinding process. You can use it with another person, or with a mastermind group. As Napoleon Hill wrote, “No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind.” It is in this "third mind" that possibilities thrive.

Whether you use this MasterMinding process or something else, the point is, to get what you want, you've got to ask for what you want. It's something that's worth trying in your next mastermind group meeting, and in your everyday life.

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posted by Hueina Su at 12:32 AM | Permalink | 4 comments